Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled the rider asked the corporal why he wasn’t helping the corporal replied, “I am the corporal; I give orders.” The rider dismounted, went up to the soldiers and helped them to lift the log. With his help, the log got moved. The rider quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal and said, “The next time your men need help send for the commander-in-chief.” After he left, the corporal and his men found out that the rider was George Washington.
An expensive Texan explaining the size of his ranch to his English host, “My property is so large that I can get up early in the morning, take my car and start driving around the property and by sunset I’m not back home yet.”
“I understand perfectly well, “I said the Britisher.” “I have a car like that too.”
A preacher saw a group of little boys sitting in the circle with a dog in the middle. He asked them what they were doing with the dog. One little fellow said, “We are not doing anything to the dog; We’re just telling lies and the one that tells the biggest one gets the dog.” The preacher told them that he was much shocked, that when he was a little boy he would never have even thought of telling a lie.
The little boy said, “That is the biggest lie. Give him the dog, fellers.”
There was a man who wanted to get rid of his shadow. But no matter what he did or tried, it just would not go away. He rolled on the floor, he dived into the water. But to no avail; his shadow stayed alongside him.
A wise man who heard of the problem, remarked, “That’s no worry. I have a very simple cure for it.”
“How so?” said the bystanders.
“Well, “said the guru, All a person has to do to get rid of his shadow is to stand in the shadow of the tree.”
A tourist from America visited the famous Polish rabbi, Hafetz Chaim. He was astonished to see that the rabbi’s home was only a simple room filled with books. The only furniture was a table and a bench.
“Rabbi, where is your furniture?” asked the tourist.
“Where is yours?” replied Hafetz.
“Mine? But I’m only a visitor here. I’m only passing through.”
“So am I,” said the rabbi.
A little boy ran into the house in near hysteria, announcing that his pet turtle had rolled over and died. he was inconsolable. Mother and Dad gathers round the tearful boy, hugged him and let him cry his yes out. They promised they would have a funeral for the turtle. Daddy would bury him in the little tin box they kept the candy in. By this time the boy was listening intently. “Then,”chimed in the mother, “We can have a party afterwards. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
By this time the boy was smiling. Encouraged, the father went on, “Yes and we’ll have balloons and everything.”
As the boy was grinning from ear to ear, suddenly and to the surprise of them all, the turtle rolled back onto his legs and began slowly moving away. The boy looked startled and then exclaimed, “Oh daddy-let’s kill it!”
I’m never pleased with anything, I’m a perfectionist, it’s part of who I am.- Michael Jackson